The Life-Changing Link Between Joy, Happiness & Gratitude

People often ask me if I’m really as happy as I seem on social media. ???? My hope is that when they meet me in person, they see the same Suzy they see online—and that when they read my words here on Empty Nest Blessed, they hear my true voice.

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We often use the words happiness and joy interchangeably, but they’re actually quite different—and understanding that difference can make a big impact on the way we live. Happiness tends to be tied to our circumstances. It bubbles up when things go well: a good hair day, a thoughtful text from your adult kids, or a spontaneous date night with your husband. Joy, on the other hand, runs deeper. It’s not dependent on what’s happening around us—it’s a quiet, steady glow in our hearts that comes from within.

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Am I happy all the time? Of course not! Just like you, I have tough days, and life’s challenges can weigh on me. But while I’m not always happy, I am always joyful. For me, joy is rooted in my faith, and it’s directly tied to the gratitude I cultivate in my life.

 And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. – Nehemiah 8:10 (ESV)

But here’s the beautiful thing: happiness can be the gateway to joy. When we take notice of the little things that bring us happiness and pause to appreciate them, we start to shift our perspective. That shift—right there—is where joy begins to take root. It grows when we choose to dwell not just on the good things, but on the Giver of all good things.

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And where does gratitude come in? It’s the secret sauce. Gratitude turns fleeting moments of happiness into lasting joy. It’s what transforms a regular Tuesday into a holy moment. When we begin to notice, name, and nurture the blessings in our lives—big or small—we’re cultivating a heart posture that invites joy to move in and stay awhile.

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Gratitude doesn’t just help us feel joyful—it actually helps us become more joyful. It’s an active choice to focus on what’s right rather than what’s missing. And when we practice that consistently? Well, that’s the game changer. That’s when our hearts become not just happy, but truly joyful.

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For me, cultivating an attitude of gratitude has been something that I’ve had to be very intentional about doing. Even though I am a pretty optimistic person by nature, I don’t really think gratitude comes naturally to most of us. For me, it was a mindset that required thoughtfulness, intentionality, and faithfulness to develop. In fact, merely pursuing it has borne the fruit of joy in my life, which in turn makes my ongoing efforts to nurture a grateful heart well worth it.

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Did you know that having an attitude of gratitude can significantly affect your health? A recent study in Primary Health Care Research & Development found that the act of explicitly expressing gratitude lifted people’s mood and sense of well-being. Another recent study targeted health-care workers, asking them how practicing gratitude affected them. The study found that gratitude decreased their stress and burnout. Yet another research study focused on suicidal patients, asking them to write a letter of gratitude. In a whopping 90% of cases, it decreased their sense of hopelessness significantly.

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So how do we learn to count our blessings, as opposed to focusing on life’s annoyances and frustrations?

For me, it started as a discipline, grew into a habit, and eventually became a natural part of my life. I’ve found that it’s hard to be unhappy when you force yourself to focus on the things you have to be thankful for in life. You can cultivate a happy heart by training yourself to look for the blessings in even the most challenging situations. (Honestly, I’m not sure there’s a shortcut!) Here are some things that I’m grateful for:

pretty spring dresses * fresh flowers * crunchy protein cereal with cold milk * blue skies * my pearl Apple Watch band* when my husband laughs at something funny I say * finding the perfect gift for someone I love * bubble baths * my favorite lip oil * compliments * when I’m done with my workout * the smell of my Pura Capri Blue * funny graphic tees * sunny days* Bible study * stretchy shorts * a baby’s giggle * puppies * when my grown sons hug me * honesty * when hard work pays off * my favorite almond body wash * french fries * a sincere smile * chick flicks * how my empty nest house stays clean * sleeping in on a Saturday * Lilly Pulitzer anything * a fire in the fireplace * sincerity * when someone gives me a gift they say “reminded” them of me * making a new friend * my favorite beach spot * movie theater popcorn 

Loft Lou & Grey Wanderweave Mixed Media Maxi Pocket Dress | (LEFT) Target Journee Collection Gingham Mary Jane Square Toe Flats (RIGHT) Talbots Irene Nappa Slingback Pumps

One of the best things I do is keep a gratitude journal (similar to mine). It helps me nurture an attitude of gratitude by focusing on things, large or small, that bring me joy.

LEFT: Avara Isabella Dress (Code SUZY15 for 15% off entire purchase) This dress is a dupe of the gone-viral Anthropologie Somerset Maxi Dress style, which I’m wearing on the right!) | Amazon Essentials Women’s Two Strap Heeled Sandal | Electric Picks San Tropez Pearl Hoops | Amazon Pearl Apple Watch Band

RIGHT: Anthropologie Somerset Maxi Dress | Sam Edelman Patent Michaela Mary Jane Flat | Amazon Pearl Apple Watch Band

Let’s break it down to the nitty gritty! If you’re struggling with joy right now, there are some practical things you can do to pursue it, nurture it, and lean into it. Remember, you have to choose joy. And then you have to keep choosing it—every single day!

1. Make an Effort to Laugh More (especially at yourself!) – It’s important not to take ourselves too seriously.
2. Plan Something to Look Forward to – My husband and I always try to have something fun to look forward to, whether it’s a date night or a weekend getaway.
3. Sprinkle Positivity into Your Everyday Life – Do little things like changing your passwords to something joyful and positive, like gratefulgal21 or ichoosejoy82. Studies have found that small acts of affirmation actually activate the reward centers in our brains.
4. Figure Out What Makes You “Happy” – Happiness, when intertwined   with gratitude, can be a gateway to joy!
5. Create a Positivity Playlist – It’s no secret that music improves your mood! Look for an upbeat playlist on Spotify or compile a list of 10-20 songs to throw on when you need a little motivation.
6. Make an Effort to Smile More – Studies have proven that there’s a link between facial expression and mood. When you smile, your brain releases neuropeptides, which combat stress. Other natural anti-depressant neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are activated too. By making yourself smile, you’re actually activating an area in the brain that’s switched on when you’re joyful. As Winston Churchill famously said, “Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth turn!”
7. Celebrate Everything – Be sure you stop and celebrate with gratitude the joyful events in life—big or small. Don’t just go on to the next thing.
8. Worship – Worship is acknowledging who God is and who we are, and then it’s acknowledging that only He could bridge the divide between us. Gratitude is always intertwined with joy, which, in turn, is always intertwined with worship.
9. Guard Your Heart and Your Mind – If we polled five people who know you well, would they call you a positive person or a negative person? Would they say you have a heart of joy? Want to know if you have a heart of joy? Scripture provides us with a failproof test: What’s coming out of your mouth? (Luke 6:45)
10. Actively Practice the Discipline of Gratitude – Grateful people are joyful people.

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What makes your heart happy? It’s clear that spring dresses make mine happy! ???? I’d love it if you’d leave me a comment and share a few of the things on your joyful list. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a joyful act unto itself, amirite? 🙂

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