How to Use Humor to Connect with Your Adult Kids

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” — Victor Borge

How can you use humor to connect with your adult kids? When it comes to connecting and bonding with your adult kids, laughter can be one of the best ways to bring everyone closer, especially when life gets busy and (geographical or emotional) distance grows. Humor has a way of melting away awkwardness, bridging generational gaps, and turning even the simplest conversations into playful, memorable, intimate moments. (Especially if someone snorts or milk comes out of their nose, just sayin’.) 🤣

So, whether you’re looking for ways to keep the text chains lively, make the most of holiday dinners, or just make your time together a little more fun, here are the best ways to use humor to connect with your adult kids. And if you don’t think you’re a particularly funny person, don’t worry! I’m sharing simple action items that you can implement to start using humor to connect with your adult kids.

 A joyful heart is good medicine…

Proverbs 17:22a

1. Find Your Shared Sense of Humor

One thing I’ve learned is that everyone’s sense of humor can be a little different, and sometimes, you need to explore together to find that sweet spot. For some, it’s puns and playful wordplay (Dad jokes, anyone?). For others, it’s poking fun at shared memories or making light of those “remember when” stories that still make you both laugh until you cry.

When Bob was growing up, his best friend’s Dad (let’s call him Ted Digon) drove Bob and his best friend around to practices, ball games, etc. Ted was known for being one of those guys who sees a line of traffic, drives way up in the lane next to the line, and then forces his way into the line in front of everyone else at the last minute, essentially cutting the line. When our kids were growing up, Bob told them many stories about driving with Ted Digon and how embarrassed he was (even as a child) to ride in the car with him! Ted Digon has been gone a long time now, and our children never even met him, but to this day in our family, when we’re driving together somewhere, and there is a line of traffic, someone will inevitably say, “Don’t pull a Ted Digon!”

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: Start by recalling some shared funny memories or stories. Work to find that overlap of humor that makes everyone feel comfortable and connected. Once you remember it, remind everyone! Send a group text and say something like, “This morning when I was brushing my teeth, for some reason, I was thinking about _______and I started laughing so hard, I nearly choked on my toothpaste!” Calling back to shared memories is a great way to share the intimacy that humor provides.

I think laughter is the best medicine. If you can’t laugh at yourself, then you can’t laugh at life and the silliness of it all.

David Hasselhoff

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh at Yourself

Adult kids are masters at detecting when we take ourselves a little too seriously! That’s why showing your playful side and being able to laugh at yourself is so important. Plus, it’s so much safer than poking fun at someone else and risking hurt feelings. So, whether it’s teasing yourself for “not getting” a trendy meme or admitting your favorite password is “IhatePasswords,” your kids will love knowing you can take things lightly and laugh at yourself!

When my father-in-law was alive, he kept the whole family laughing with his nicknames for my mother-in-law. He would refer to her as “my current wife” or “Chama,” which was short for “checkbook mama!” He was hilarious at Christmas time, doing things like rearranging the pretty ceramic letters that spelled
“NOEL” when no one was looking so that they said “LEON!”

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: Try something fun and playful that you know will make someone laugh. One day, I got into Bob’s phone when he was taking out the trash and changed my name on his contacts to “My Hot Wife.” When I called him later that day, he picked up laughing!

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh – it’s as simple as that.

Jay Leno

3. Use Humor as a Way to Show You’re Engaged with Their World

As parents, it’s easy to feel out of the loop when it comes to the latest trends, memes, and pop culture references. But making an effort to understand even a little of their world can show that you’re invested in what they enjoy.

After I posted a photo of THIS cute bow sweater on Instagram, I sent the post via DM to my daughter. The reason? Right after we took the photos for the post, I gave her the sweater. (We both love bows!) The text message on the left is what she sent me back. I had no idea what she meant by, “We stan a bow,” but I Googled it. I found out that “stan” in Gen Z speak means, “a term used to refer to someone who is a very enthusiastic and dedicated fan of a particular celebrity, musician, or public figure.” (Or, apparently, bows!🎀) She was sweetly calling back to something we share. That’s a playful, intimate moment, and it wasn’t lost on me. 🩷

Avara Merissa Sweater (Use code SUZY15 for 15% off)

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: If your adult child loves a specific comedy show or podcast, tune in now and then! Even just mentioning something like, “I finally listened to that podcast you love – and wow, that was wild!” will likely earn a smile and give you something new to share— or laugh—about together.

 God will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Job 8:21-22

4. Create New “Inside Jokes” Together

Remember those inside jokes you created when your kids were young? As adults, they’ll still love sharing little secrets and silly moments with you – maybe even more so now! Want to use humor to connect with your adult kids? Keep those traditions alive by creating new inside jokes during your time together.

These could be as simple as giving each other silly nicknames, referencing something funny from a recent conversation, or recreating hilarious family photos with a “grown-up” twist. New inside jokes give you both a playful way to stay connected, even after your kids have headed back to their own lives.

When our daughter was young, she looked up to her big brothers so much. (She still does.) Her oldest brother always seemed to have an answer to every question she asked. (She asked a lot of cute questions and he always answered so kindly and patiently!) One day, she said, “We don’t need Google, we have Connor!” It stuck! Now, when anyone in our family has a question about anything, we all say the same thing: “Connor will know; he’s Google!” And he usually does!

One time, when we were on a family vacation with one of our kids and his wife, we were out to dinner and waiting for our order when we decided to play the FREE online game Out of the Loop (FREE on the App Store). Our son was putting the players’ names into the game so we could get started, and he used “Suzy” for me. (Even adult kids seem to think it’s funny to call their parents by their first names!) Then, emboldened by the laugh calling me “Suzy” invoked, instead of saying “Bob” for his dad, he said “Robby.” For some reason that struck us all as hilarious, and it became a thing in our family. To this day, our kids call Bob “Robby” about half of the time! 😂 It’s a small thing, and it’s silly, but it’s a good example of how shared humor can build intimacy. (Nicknames—as long as they’re not hurtful—are a great example.)

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: We’ve found that shared memories around vacations, sports games, and other outings create lots of opportunities for humor, so look for opportunities to share those together. Game nights can be fun, too, but focus on playing games like LCR! (LCR stands for “left, center, right.”) that are based on chance and not skill. We play LCR every time our family gets together for any occasion!

Each player starts the game with three poker chips and takes turns rolling the three dice. For each “L” rolled, they give a chip to the player on their left. For each “R” rolled, they give a chip to the player on their right. For each “C” rolled, they put a chip in the middle of the table. For each dot rolled, nothing occurs. The dice are then passed to the next player. When one player has all of the chips, that player wins the game. However, when we play it, Bob and I give everyone three one-dollar bills instead of poker chips. Everyone gets so into it; you’d think we were playing for hundreds of dollars! It gets very rowdy, and there’s always lots of laughing!

We don’t laugh because we’re happy – we’re happy because we laugh.

William James

5. Laugh Through Life’s Awkward Moments

Being a parent means you’ll sometimes end up in awkward situations – and adult kids can be wonderfully quick to call them out! Whether you mispronounce a new app they love or accidentally send a text meant for one of your friends (yep, guilty!), don’t let embarrassment get in the way. Instead, laugh along with them!

My kids are always up for a story about when I did something embarrassing! When I told my kids about when I signed an email to an important person, “Best, Suxy & Bib,” because I was typing too fast, they died of laughter. (And they shook their heads because they know I like to do everything fast!)

These “oops” moments remind them you’re not just a parent but also a person, doing your best to navigate this new phase of life alongside them. Plus, if they see you being a good sport, they’ll be more likely to open up about their own funny mishaps.

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: Think of an embarrassing story and share it. Be sure it exemplifies some trait your kids know you have, and laugh at yourself while you tell it. Also, if someone else tells an embarrassing story about you in your presence, don’t get all huffy and let it hurt your feelings. Understand that it’s done in love and playfulness, and laugh at yourself to let everyone else know it’s okay to laugh, too. (After all, if they didn’t care about you, they wouldn’t bother to even tell the story!)

Laughter can bring a new perspective.

Christopher Durang

6. Turn Small Moments into Lighthearted Fun

When it comes to using humor to connect with your adult kids, don’t underestimate the power of humor in those tiny, everyday moments. Text them a funny meme you saw, make light of a mishap when cooking together, or tell a funny story from your day. Remember, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy; even a light-hearted “Good morning, sunshine!” text can brighten their day and remind them they’re loved.

Recently, I partnered with Marleylilly and shared a post about personalized gifts with you all. I enlisted my family to participate and sent them each a personalized gift from the brand. (See below.) All I asked in exchange was that they send me a short video and a photo of them with the gift. (See the Instagram Reel I made HERE.)

Quilted Crossbody | Golf Towel | Waterbottle & Chunky Knit Beanie
Crewneck Tunic Sweatshirt | Kid’s CrewneckTunic Sweatshirt | Leather Valet | Weekender Bag

As you can see in the middle bottom row, I sent one of my sons a beautiful, monogrammed leather valet, He dutifully sent me the photo above. And then he sent the text below, telling me he took “prison photos” as well!

Of course, I sent him back a GIF of a prisoner behind bars and a laughing emoji. When your kids are playful with you, respond! Staying connected through humor is as much about the small, consistent touches as it is about big, laugh-out-loud moments. Everyone likes a good audience! When your kids know you’re a source of positivity and fun, they’ll keep coming back for more.

SIMPLE ACTION ITEM: Do you know how to use the GIF library on your phone to send funny short videos to your kids? If not, learn how HERE. Also, as you’re driving around, snap a photo of a funny custom license plate or bumper sticker that you know would make them laugh. Look for little moments in life that you know would make them smile, and take a second to share.

The Power of Shared Laughter

I don’t know about you, but as our kids have grown up, we’ve learned that it’s less about guiding and teaching and more about being an encouraging, positive presence in their lives. Using humor to connect with your adult kids is a powerful tool to build your relationship! Humor helps us stay close, create memories, and share the kind of joy that’s simple, genuine, and intimate. As parents, you can set the tone by not taking yourself too seriously!

Jude Connally “Candy” Maxi Dress (JCSUZY for 15% off) I’m 5’5″ and wearing an XS. | Suede Kitten Heel Navy Pumps | Allie & Bess Navy Vinyl Bracelet (SUZY20 for 20% off) | Allie & Bess Green Vinyl Bracelet (SUZY20 for 20% off) | Allie & Bess Wheat Zo Bracelet (SUZY20 for 20% off) | Earrings Not Available

So, here’s to all the belly laughs, the dad jokes, and the eye-roll-worthy moments that keep us close to our grown-up kids. Remember, they might be adults, but they’ll always love having a parent who’s game to laugh along with them. Happy bonding, my friends – and keep laughing!