7 Keys to a Strong Marriage in the Empty Nest
In May 2026, I was asked to be a guest on ABC’s WFAA Good Morning Texas to discuss the keys to a long-lasting marriage. It was such a fun topic! From first dates to 50th anniversaries, everyone wants to know the secret to lasting love.
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Marriage is always changing because life is always changing. Work, children, stress, celebrations, disappointments, and eventually the empty nest all affect the relationship. There is no single formula for a happy marriage, but I do believe strong marriages are built when two people intentionally keep choosing each other through every season.
Here are seven of the keys to a strong marriage that I shared during my Good Morning Texas interview.
1. Build Your Marriage on a Strong Friendship
A strong friendship is the bedrock of a lasting marriage.
The good and the bad in life come at every couple, so it is important to keep growing together. Spend focused time with each other and keep talking. Talk about the big things, the little things, and everything in between. Talk, talk, talk!
That friendship becomes especially important once the kids leave home. When so much of your time and attention is no longer centered on raising children, you want to know and enjoy the person sitting across from you.
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2. Turn Toward Each Other
Choose to turn toward each other instead of looking elsewhere.
Celebrate the wins together, and sit in the pain together. A best friend, sibling, or parent can certainly be a wonderful source of support, but your spouse should be your person.
When something wonderful happens, your spouse should be one of the first people you want to tell. The same should be true when life is difficult. Keep choosing each other as your closest partner and teammate.
3. Say Thank You Often
One of the simplest ways to stay emotionally connected is to say thank you.
Thank your spouse for the things they do, including the everyday things that can easily go unnoticed after years of marriage. Gratitude lets them know you see their effort and do not take them for granted.
Keep laughing together too. Life is serious enough without taking ourselves too seriously! Shared laughter can ease tension and remind you that you are on the same side.
4. Handle Conflict with Security and Grace
Arguments happen in every marriage. What matters is how you handle them.
Sometimes your spouse may need to hear you say, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this for the long haul.” That reassurance creates a sense of security, even when you do not agree.
Keep short accounts instead of allowing every small irritation to pile up. Let some things roll off your back, and remember that you are probably irritating sometimes too! Marriage involves two imperfect people, not one perfect person and one difficult one.
5. Choose to Grow Together
Strong couples look for ways to keep growing with each other.
Find things you both enjoy and make time to do them together. Bob and I served in our church nursery for years, and that became something meaningful we shared. It is also good to participate in something your spouse enjoys. For me, that has meant learning to enjoy golf with Bob.
You do not have to share every hobby, but showing an interest in something your spouse loves says, “You matter to me, and I want to be part of your world.”
The empty nest is a wonderful time to discover new things you enjoy doing together. Instead of seeing it only as the end of the parenting years at home, you can begin thinking about what you want this next season of your marriage to look like.
6. Keep Dating and Creating New Memories
I see this often in the empty nest. Once the kids are gone, it can feel as though every night is date night because you are together all the time!
But being in the same room is not the same as intentionally planning something fun together.
Keep creating memories and occasionally do something that pushes you outside your comfort zone. Go ziplining, try kayaking, or ride four-wheelers like Bob and I did on a recent cruise!
You do not have to choose a major adventure every time. The point is to keep having fun together, trying new things, and giving yourselves something to talk and laugh about later.
7. Look for the Good in Your Spouse
Choose to look for the good in your spouse.
Remember what first drew you to them, and focus on the qualities you still admire. It is easy to notice what irritates us, especially after many years together, but we can also train ourselves to notice what is good.
Then say those things out loud.
Keep encouraging your spouse. When we encourage people, they often rise up and become more of the person we tell them they are. Your words carry tremendous power in your marriage, so use them to remind your spouse of the good you see in them.
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A Strong Marriage Is Built One Choice at a Time
A strong marriage is not built through one grand romantic gesture. It is built through the choices couples make every day.
Choose friendship. Choose gratitude. Choose laughter, encouragement, forgiveness, and adventure. Keep turning toward each other, and keep choosing to grow together.
Those choices matter in every season, but they can become especially meaningful in the empty nest. When the children leave home, couples have an opportunity to reconnect, rediscover each other, and begin building a new season of life together.
For more encouragement as you prepare for or adjust to life after the kids leave home, my bestselling book, Empty Nest Blessed: 60 Days to Finding Joy in the Empty Nest, is available in hardback, paperback, eBook, and audiobook. The hardback makes a great gift! Want me to autograph your copy? Email info@emptynestblessed.com and ask. Through relatable stories, thoughtful guidance, and practical insight, it can help you navigate the changes of the empty nest and move into this season with greater joy, purpose, and confidence.
I’m also available to speak to college and university parent programs, women’s conferences and organizations, churches, community groups, and media audiences about marriage, parenting adult children, and navigating the transition to the empty nest.
