8 Practical Ways to Be a Great Parent to Your Adult Kids

Want to know how to be a great parent to your adult kids? First of all, you need to start by understanding that regardless of whether your kids are Millennials or Gen Zers, what you do and what you say as a parent still means the world to them! Oh, they may act like they’re all independent and adulty, but deep down, even they will admit that it’s true. Let’s be real; my 80-something-year-old parents’ opinion is still important to me!

I think we all want to be great parents to our adult kids! I, for one, am always looking for ways to bless and encourage my adult kids. Aren’t you? A little while ago, it occurred to me that I should actually ask my kids (Imagine that! 🤣) to tell me the ways I could be a great parent to them! Honestly, I think they appreciated being asked! They were so sweet and helped me put together this list. Some of the things on their list were not surprising (gifts!), but some were (presence). I hope it’s a blessing to you!

How to Be a Great Parent to Adult Kids

1. Ask Them How You Can Be a Great Parent to Them

Yep! Do what I did, and actually ask! After all, there’s no sense in guessing. Take what they say to heart, even if it’s hurtful or corrective. Then honor what they say, do it, and (perhaps most importantly) do not attach an expectation of reciprocation.

2. Give Little “I Love You” Gifts

The best gifts are personal and meaningful to the recipient. In our family, we’ve always given what we call “I love you gifts.” These are simply gifts that don’t need an occasion. They aren’t expensive or over-the-top. Think about sending a Starbucks e-gift card when you know your college kid has a busy week of tests and isn’t getting much sleep or a big bag of their favorite candy sent straight from Amazon. When my daughter moved to NYC for grad school, she froze! I sent her a pretty, cozy robe that I knew she would love and use! (BTW, I have lots of gift ideas for all ages up on the Empty Nest Blessed Amazon page, and that’s such an easy way to send a gift!)

3. Love, Support, and Encourage Their Spouses/Boyfriends/Girlfriends

Treat their loved ones as members of the family. (You may just fall in love too!) When my son and his wife stay at our house, I stock the fridge with her favorite drinks and make sure her room is full of things I know she will love.

Another really special thing we’ve done with our kids and their significant others is to ask them to tell us the story of how they met. Then, we asked follow-up questions about their first impressions of one another and what they love and appreciate about each other. I think they loved telling it as much as we loved hearing it!

4. Let Them Know You’re Thinking of Them

When your adult kids are out of the nest, let them know you’re thinking of them by doing something like forwarding a news story or funny video that you think they’d enjoy. I send GIFs, Bible verses, photos of funny bumper stickers I see, and more. For more ideas on using humor to connect with your adult kids, click HERE.

5. Pray For Them

I think prayer is so important that I wrote a whole post about how I pray for my kids. Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children, has been really helpful to me! My kids know I’m praying for them, and they are encouraged by it. Truly, it’s the most valuable thing we can do for them.

6. Support Their Family

Whether you’re helping them move, throwing a baby shower for an upcoming addition, or just gifting them something thoughtful, think of ways you can bless and recognize their changing family! (BTW, a married couple with no kids is a family too!).

MY OUTFIT: Slim Ankle Jeans | Ruched Cuff Longer Length Sleeve Crewneck Tee (also in blue print) | Michaela Patent Mary Jane Flats (comfy!) | White Floral Cut Out Belt (this year’s version) | Pearl Collar Necklace | 18 kt. Gold Cross Huggie Earrings | Pearl Apple Watch Band

Recently, I was looking for a practical way to encourage my daughter and son-in-law, so I reached out to Sarah and asked her to pick out a few stationery items from Joy Creative Shop that would be fun for their little family! Joy Creative Shop’s specialty is personalization, and I love the notepads, notecards, and vinyl stickers Sarah picked out!

Family Modern Classics Personalized Notepad | Personalized Gingham Stationery | Floral Personalized Square Notepad | Mini Vinyl Alphabet Stickers

You can use the exclusive Empty Nest Blessed promo code ENB10 for a 10% discount on your entire order at Joy Creative Shop.

7. Be Present When You Can

There are times when Facetime just won’t do the trick, and your kids need a real-life hug from Mom or Dad. In our family, we call this the “ministry of presence.” It’s not about rescuing them, but rather, coming alongside them when they need it most, and you can do it best. Bad breakup with the boyfriend? Really sick? Completely overwhelmed with life? If you’re close enough, practice the ministry of presence and go to them. Take a gallon of ice cream, chicken soup, or a cozy lightweight blanket to snuggle up in, and get over there!

8. Ask the “Expert”

When your kids leave the nest, they learn and grow. Most likely, they’ll become “experts” in a field that is unfamiliar to you. You can bless and encourage them by asking intelligent questions about their field, listening to their answers with interest, and asking good follow-up questions.

With a son who is an attorney and an expert on college football, a son who has his MBA in CRM, a daughter-in-law who in a university professor, another daughter-in-law with her masters in education, and a daughter who is a working actress, we do this all the time – and we’ve learned a lot! Everybody likes to share their knowledge and insight. So give your kids a chance to show off a little! And then bless and encourage them by telling them how impressed you are with them. (You really will be!)

Resources to Help You Be a Great Parent to Your Adult Kids

Puff Short Sleeve Sweater Top (Great price and comes in multiple colors) | Pink Leopard Print Ginger Jar | Faux Pink Peonies

Looking for more encouragement as you parent your adult kids? Check out the other posts I’ve written on this subject HERE. What practical things do you do to be a great parent to your adult kids? Leave me a comment and share your best ideas!