Marriage Interrupted | An Interview With Author Julie Plagens

Long-term marriages definitely have ebbs and flows! Has your marriage ever experienced an “interruption?” Ours has! Bob and I had one when we grieved very differently after losing a baby during the second trimester. We had another one when there was a health crisis, and another when I struggled with anxiety and depression for a time.

Y’all, every long-term marriage faces interruptions! But not everyone writes an entire book about their “marriage interruption!”

Today, I’m thrilled to introduce you to author Julie Plagens. She’s the author of the ground-breaking book Estranged, in which she shares about her life as a child of well-known parents in full-time ministry and the hardships it put on her to maintain an image of perfection. After many years of anger and unforgiveness, Julie and her husband walked away from her family in order to find healing after a life-altering health diagnosis. Seven years later, reconciliation came, through a series of circumstances you will not believe. I highly recommend this book, because it’s full of tips for parents and adult children who are struggling to find a connection between the two generations.

In Julie’s new book Marriage Interrupted, she shares how she and her husband went through a serious disruption to their marriage. As she puts it, ” It was the perfect storm. It felt as if God gave us more than we could possibly handle.” Today, I’m sharing an interview with author Julie Plagens.

SUZY: Hi, Julie! Thank you for joining us! First things first! What exactly is a “marriage interruption?”
JULIE: A “marriage interruption” is something unexpected in your marriage that may be unpleasant or difficult to overcome. Examples include a health crisis, a job loss, financial stress, a sick child, or other challenging situations. 

SUZY: What interrupted your marriage?
JULIE: My marriage was interrupted by three significant life challenges: a health diagnosis (Crohn’s disease), job/money stress, and a seven-year family estrangement. These adversities, wound together like a ball of string, could not be unbound unless something was cut. 

SUZY: How did these interruptions manifest in your relationship?
JULIE: We found ourselves unprepared to handle multiple challenges at once. Conflict would arise over an issue, and then we would resort to blaming, pouting, criticism, stonewalling, or losing our tempers. Instead, we needed to learn how to set boundaries, forgive, and behave appropriately with each other.

SUZY: I love the story you told in the book about when you bit your husband’s finger! Please tell us more about how these marriage interruptions played out over time.
JULIE: One of the first fights we had as a married couple was about food, i.e. cod liver oil. We were discussing our “faux children” (I wasn’t even pregnant at the time) and how we were going to raise them. Andy piped up while pointing his finger at me and said, “You will give our kids cod liver oil.”  Well, that set me off to the moon. As he was pointing his finger in my face, I grabbed it and bit it. And then I ran to our bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it. He couldn’t believe I had done that. He kept saying, “You bit my finger! You bit my finger!” 

And that is how we started off our first month of marriage. We definitely needed help managing conflict! 

SUZY: How did your relationship finally turn the corner so healing could begin?
JULIE: Experiencing this much heartache at once can lead to feelings of anger and then numbness. Over time, it affected my relationship with God. I didn’t think He loved me, and I certainly didn’t feel He was good. At one point, I decided God didn’t exist; it was a substantial faith crisis. 

My relationship with God turned first. I asked Him to show me His love. Immediately, I saw signs of His presence in my life in small ways. After that, I started praying more. Gradually, my focus shifted toward praying for my husband. I used the prayers in Stormie O’Martin’s book The Power of a Praying Wife to guide my words.

Each day, I would take out the book and pray until I was no longer anxious or upset. That is when I sensed God easing my bitterness. Subsequently, I was able to pray for my parents. Eventually, God intervened in that situation as well. It’s a beautiful story that includes healing in all areas of my life!

SUZY: How has the empty nest affected your marriage?
JULIE: We are currently experiencing a deeper level of love than ever before, thanks to the profound transformation that has taken place in both of our hearts. We have learned to forgive quickly, offer encouragement, and constantly pray for each other. 

This journey wasn’t without its challenges. Instead of trying to change each other, we focused on changing ourselves. Now, we lead a group at our church called Marriage Core, where we assist other couples in overcoming their “marriage interruptions.”

SUZY: How can people follow you and learn more about you and your story?
JULIE:
Website: momremade.com
Website Freebies
Instagram
Pinterest
Facebook
FB group: Christian Family Living
Blog post about Julie’s family estrangement
Julie’s personal story

Julie’s books can be found on any digital platform but also in print on Amazon:
Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart 
Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict As a Couple and Stay In Love

Many thanks to Julie for her vulnerability in opening up and sharing her story. She is a gifted writer and you will love checking out her website and her resources. I use her “I Am” statements freebie in my quiet time every morning!