Decluttering for Empty Nesters: How to Let Go with Love
This is the second post in my deeply personal Downsizing, Decluttering, Detaching, and Dreaming Ahead series—our heartfelt journey of letting go, lightening up, and listing our beloved family home. Be sure to read the first post, Why We’re Downsizing Our Family Home—And How We Knew It Was Time.
Let’s be honest: decluttering sounds great—until you start opening drawers full of baby photos, preschool artwork, treasured toys and books, and graduation tassels. 😭
Bob and I quickly realized we couldn’t move forward until we faced (1) the things we had just not dealt with over the years, thinking, “We’ll get to it sometime.” and (2) the sentimental clutter that had quietly taken over closets, cabinets, and boxes over the years.
We took a deep breath and made a plan—one room at a time, with no guilt, no time-pressure, and lots of grace. We started upstairs, where the kids rooms are located, along with a playroom with a built-in stage (Our daughter is an actress, after all!), a gym, and two large, walk-in attics.
We worked on it a little at a time: after dinner for an hour or so some nights or on a Saturday moring or a Sunday afternoon on some weekends. We didn’t let it interfere with family time, planned travel, or special events, but we did stay intentional and focused. It helped to work on it together! All in all, it took us about 8 months to get through it.
Here’s what helped us stay grounded and purposeful:
- What can we donate that will bless another family? It felt good knowing cherished items might bring joy to someone else’s home. That other-orientation really helped! (Philippians 2:3)
- What can we give away to our housekeeper, yard crew, and others already in our lives? These people are precious to us! Passing along things to them felt like sharing blessings, not just getting rid of stuff.
- What should we donate to Goodwill? A way to give back and keep things out of landfills.
- What can we consign? For the things that still had value but didn’t fit our new life, consigning felt like a win-win. We used local Dallas places like, B&B Resale and Consignment Heaven.
- What just needs to be trashed or sent to junk removal? Sometimes, you just realize, “Nobody wants this!” 🙄😂
We weren’t very far into our decluttering journey when I realized I needed to get a handle on the concept of “value“. It sounds overly-simplistic, but at one point as we were decluttering, I started to realize that some things that once held great value for me, simply no longer did. This bothered me and made me feel bad (especially if it was something I’d paid a lot for). This may sound weird, but I started by looking up the word “value” on Dictionary.com. The bottom line is that “value” is subjective and can vary from person to person. It’s and “assigned worth” that is determined by the usefulness, rarity, or sentimental importance of an item to an individual. It’s a dynamic concept, meaning the value of something to an individual can change over time. That is nothing to feel guilty about, and once I accepted that, I was able to push past some of the feelings that were holding me back as I decluttered.
Asking a few key questions helped us make decisions easier:
- Is this worth the trouble and expense to move? If not, maybe it’s time to say goodbye.
- What’s the purpose of keeping this? Will it serve us or our family in some way?
- Are we holding on out of guilt or the “maybe someday” mindset? Letting go is freeing when we realize some things don’t need to come along.
- Do we feel bad giving this away because it was expensive? We learned to release those feelings and focus on what truly matters now.
- Is this something we want our children to have to deal with when we’re gone? Is that fair to them?
Practically speaking, responsibly recycling, upcycling, and donating was important to us. I did a lot of research on where to donate hard-to-donate items (think laptops, old eyeglasses, old formalwear, and more). The next post in this series is called, Decluttering 101: Where to Donate Your Hard-to-Donate Stuff. The next challenging thing: disposing of hard-to-dispose of items (think old paint, expired medications, old batteries, and more), I’ve written another post called Decluttering 102: How to Dispose of Hard-to-Dispose-of Items. Look for those two posts in the next few days!
The emotional part of decluttering? It was real. There were laughs… and a few tissues 😢 (which is why is was really good to do it together). The hardest part was going through notes and cards from when the kids were little, along with some of their well-loved toys. We were so glad we saved some of the true heritage toys, like Becca’s American Girl dolls and Angelina Ballerina, Weston’s Playmobil building sets, and Connor’s Build-a-Bears.
When it came to sentimental items, it might sound a little quirky, but I assigned numerical values in my mind and heart to what was most precious. Was it a macaroni art project from kindergarten? Or a heartfelt Mother’s Day card written by a 16-year-old? This helped me prioritize what to keep, and what could gently move on. We bought plastic storage bins for each child, and placed some of their most precious things in there: awards, trophies, lovies, photos, and more.
The surprising thing? With each box we donated, each shelf we cleared—it felt like we were reclaiming space not just in our home, but in our hearts. There was a freedom and a lightness as we made progress. We found that a lighter home invited a lighter heart. Letting go opens the door for new blessings that have yet to be imagined.
As we went through it, we realized, this process wasn’t just about decluttering—it was about making room for joy, adventure, and freedom in this next season. We realized that we don’t have to carry every object with us. The memories live on in our hearts, and no one can ever take them away. We set our hearts and minds on the future, and, when we had doubts, we reminded each other of the well-thought out “why” behind what we were doing.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by decluttering when downsizing (or even just decluttering when you’re staying put), I would encourage you to remember this is a journey, not a race. Start with one drawer (I started with my makeup drawer!), one shelf, or even one memory box. Celebrate each small victory and be kind to yourself along the way. Whether you’re decluttering when downsizing, or just to clear things out so your kids won’t have to deal with it some day, I hope you do it. Getting started is the hardest part!
Want to follow along with every step of this downsizing adventure? 🏡 To read the rest of the posts in the series, click HERE.
This series has such value to your audience! We moved several times during the kids’ childhoods so I realized I downsized for every move! Yes, what is worth moving! You will love this next phase!
Jeanell,
Aw, thank you! I needed to hear this because I just got a DM on Instagram where someone told me she regretted that she’d downsized every second of every day! Goodness!
I know it’s what the Lord wants for us right now, so we’re very content with our decision!
Thanks for your encouraging and kind words, Jeanell! I’m truly grateful!
xoxo
Suzy
This is what I have been doing of late (meaning a number of years). Being one of 7 siblings there is always going to be a lot of stuff. Due to structure issue the house that my parents lived in had to be torn down and things were put in storage–not just one unit mind you. Life happens and my parents have since passed. There is one sibling who has been in charge of getting the storage units down and the stuff out. I live near and I help when necessary. There are many things that we did not want to get rid of but in the end we did. We have the memory and that is what will stay with us.
We have brought items to consignment stores but I think that donation centers have been the ones who have received many more items. There are boxes for the 7 of us at my home and at this other sibling. We will give them to the other 5 when we can. The others live in other states and in other countries.
My husband and I eventually want to move though we were unable to have children we have stuff that I am sure we will not need to bring to a new state.
Maureen,
Thanks for sharing your story. This journey looks different for everyone, for sure! Our “stuff” is so precious, but I loved that you said the memories are what will stay with you!
Wise words, my friend!
Thanks so much for your comment!
xoxo
Suzy
So helpful! When you hang on to everything – like my husband’s sweet parents did – it makes it very difficult for your children who will someday go through your things, because so much of what is left is not something they will keep, and it makes it much harder for them to find the truly meaningful pieces of your life. This is a great guide!
Shannon,
I love that perspective, and it’s so important to remember. After you shared that with me, I really did keep it in mind while we were working on decluttering!
Grateful for you and your precious friendship!
xoxo
Suzy
These posts are so helpful. Keep them coming! Thanks
Darlene,
Thank you so much for sharing! I’m so grateful for your comment and appreciate you taking the time to leave it.
xoxo
Suzy
Thank-you for sharing this precious and sensitive part of your life. It IS helpful and meaningful to many of us in this season. God gives us grace for the moment, and it appears He is doing that for you. There’s more joy to come in the adventures ahead!
Nancy,
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. It meant so much to me!
Grateful!
xoxo
Suzy
Check out if your community has a “Buy Nothing” Projectn(Facebook), usually based on zip code. You “gift” your unwanted things to someone who want it! It is so gratifying and easy!
Buy Nothing Project…check Facebook!~
Susan,
What a great thing to know about! Thank you for sharing!
xoxo
Suzy
My husband and I will be moving in 4 years to our “retirement” home. I have already started the process to downsize. I like your thought process – 1 room at a time. I have already boxed memories for one of our daughters and sent to her. Thank you for your insight.
Penny,
You’re so welcome! I love that you’re starting so early! You’ll be so glad. Also, once you live with less, I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up doing a second round of decluttering before you move!
Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment! I’m grateful!
xoxo
Suzy
I haven’t been on your website or social media much.i been dealing with life children,grandchildren,health life happens stuff. I’m declutterung right now . It is overwhelming at times . I just felt led today 8/27/2025. To look up emprynest blessed you always have wisdom to share.And I was so happy to see your blog about declutterung in not alone in this. I’m doing it by myself but your story is encouraging . All the best in all your endeavors.
Robin,
Thank you for letting me know you found the post helpful. I’m so sorry you are struggling. Decluttering is not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure. I hope you’re giving yourself grace, taking your time, and going slowly.
Please know I will be praying for you!
xoxo
Suzy
I found taking photos of items before donating or discarding was helpful – the memory is captured – without holding on to the item. Years later I was able to even delete many of the photos. We didn’t miss anything and even forgot about the items when we looked back through the photos.
Jennie,
That’s such a great idea! Thanks so much for sharing it!
Grateful for you!
xoxo
Suzy
Thank you so much for this series. I lost my mom 2 years ago & I am still having a hard time letting go of some things that were hers or that I know their value. We also lost my in laws 7 months apart this past year & having to deal with their estate is taking a toll on us. My house looks like I’m moving but it’s just all the boxes of stuff that need to be gone through & it’s so depressing. Thank you for your articles & positive outlook. I will write some of what you’ve said & post it around the house to remind me to let go to have more joy!
Charlene,
I am so sorry for your losses. That is A LOT to deal with, and I hope you’re giving yourself some time and grace to deal with the emotions that come with those losses (regardless of dealing with the belongings).
I DO believe you have the potential sitting in all of those boxes to bless a whole lot of people, and, trust me, knowing you’re doing that will bless you! (Truthfully, you may find it kind of addicting!)
Thank you for your kind comment, and please know that I’m praying for you!
xoxo
Suzy