The kids are coming home!!!! I know you’re excited. I am too! Whether they’re coming home for Christmas, Spring Break, or even the summer, I want you to be ready. Oh, just because you are busy getting ready for their arrival with present buying/wrapping, favorite meal-making, or what have you, this is no time to let up on your mental preparation, people. You need to brush up on your coolness factor pronto, and I’m here to help you do just that. It’s hard to keep up with the latest lingo that the teen, college, and twenty-something kids are using. New words and phrases pop up all the time, and, as you can see above, I’ve had my share of confusion about the current verbiage. In an effort to help us both, I’ve rounded up a few must-know terms and phrases for you. BTW, I’ve done this before, but the list keeps growing! You might want to review my previous posts on “Must Have Vocab” and also “Texting Lingo” so you and your Bae can practice and you’ll be all Gucci by the time the kids get home for the holidays. (If you have no idea what you just read, you definitely need to review those posts.) Strap it on, friends. Here we go.
Salty – Attention! This does NOT refer to a seasoning you put on your food. It refers to feeling irritated, annoyed, or frustrated. Use this when your college student rolls his eyes in annoyance at something you say. As in, “Whoa, you need some pepper with that salt?” Your awesome use of this snappy lingo will snap him out of his attitude immediately. Power to the parents, yo.
Super Salty – A derivative of the above word. You say this when describing someone who was or is currently annoyed. Use this with your Bae (that would be your husband) when describing the scenario above. Say, “_______ got super salty with me when I asked him about that cute girl at church/how work went today/to clean up his room, etc.”
Those/This/That_____, though – You use this phrase when you want to draw attention to a special characteristic of a special person. As in, “Chris Pine/Zac Ephron/Jared Leto/Brad Pitt, those eyes, though.” Use of this will freak your daughter out. Especially if you use it about your husband: “Ohhh, your Dad, those muscles, though.” There will be visible cringing. Note: It is not always used in a complimentary manner. See below.
Throwing Shade – This means to subtly disrespect a friend or acquaintance. It is not overt. For example, if your daughter doesn’t like your dress, she might say, “Mom, that dress, though. Um, it is real interesting on you…” Basically, she is saying you look terrible.
Dank – This refers to a place that is not nice, new, and lovely, but rather, rundown, old and dirty. The word for this used to be “sketchy.” It’s time for an update, people. (If your kids say this about your house, it may be time to think about an empty nest refresh, just sayin’.)
Deal – This means what you probably think. It means “deal with it.” If you just drop the “with it,” you’ll sound much more “with it.” Remember, if the kids can’t handle all of this new lingo you’re spouting, they are just going to have to deal.
Tryna & Hafta – These two are merely contractions of the phrases “trying to” and “have to.” Just relax and go with it. You will sound super cool and millennial. Tell your husband: “I was tryna get excited that the kids are headed home from college, but I am really going to miss the fun of the empty nest while they’re home. Oh, well, I guess we hafta deal.” Yeah, ya do. Sorry.
Can’t Even – You use this when you’re tryna deal, and you probably hafta, but you just “can’t even.” Yes, it’s as serious as it sounds.
If you are feeling especially confident, you can try combining your newly-learned terms. WARNING: This is not for the novice. If you are even a little off on the subtleties of these phrases, shade will be thrown your way by aforementioned kids, making you super salty. Ugh, those kids, though. Sometimes I can’t even deal.