Those precious kids of yours! When they lived at home, they only wanted to talk to you between the hours of 10 p.m. and 12 a.m. Now that they’re out of the house, you only hear from them when something really good/exciting/epic has happened or when something really bad/terrible/tragic has happened. If you actually call, they think someone died. Sure, you text with them pretty often, but half the time you have no idea what they are saying. I am here for you, people. Today we’re decoding all that crazy texting lingo.
If you read my post about must-know teen vocab, you know I will only agree to share this information with you if you promise to use it back with your kids. It will make them squeal and squirm, and you will be in a good mood the entire rest of the day. When you use it, just be cool. Work it into your texts subtly and a little at a time. Trust me; they will never think of you the same way again.
LOL – This and OMG are the most commonly used texting slang terms. Lately, I have noticed that LOL is being replaced lately by hahahahaha. I believe that is because one too many parents thought LOL meant “lots of love” and sent crazy texts to their kids like, “Just wanted you to know Grandpa passed away in his sleep last night. At least he didn’t suffer. LOL.”
BYOB – Hey, some things never change, do they? If your kids tell you they are going to Bible study and it means “bring your own Bible,” do not believe them for one minute.
TBH – This means “to be honest.” It is a good term to have in your arsenal because, let’s face it, those big ole kids still need parenting. If you absolutely HAVE to give your opinion about something, couch it in TBH. They will be so distracted by the fact that you used it, they won’t even get defensive about what you said. Not really, but it’s worth a try.
SMH – This means “shaking my head,” as in, you are totally incredulous about what they told you and you just CANNOT believe it. This is the opposite of NBD (“no big deal”), which you should use as often as possible because it makes you sound easy, breezy and oh-so-casual.
HBD – This means “Happy Birthday.” I do not, under any circumstances, suggest that you send this text to your kids in lieu of a birthday present or make one of those, “Who died? Why are you calling me?” phone calls to actually wish them a happy birthday. I DO recommend, however, that you still post embarrassing pictures of them in the bathtub at age three on Facebook with the customary birthday wishes. They just love that. When they text you to thank you for the gifts/phone call/FB post, text them back a simple, YW (“you’re welcome”).
IDK – Never use this. It means “I don’t know.” Remember, you DO know. You’re the mother; that’s why.
RN – You are going to get a lot of mileage of this one. It means “right now.” As in, “Can’t talk RN.” The more you use it, the more those kids will conjure up all kinds of awesome/exciting/slightly dangerous things they think you might be doing in the empty nest. It will drive them crazy. Try this one: “Can’t talk RN, redecorating your room.” A variation on this is BRB, which means “be right back.” Again, use it to emphasize the fun you are having without them. Ah, isn’t it great not to have tests and papers anymore?
CUZ, THO, K – These are super easy, so I grouped them together. CUZ=because, THO=though, and K=okay. Using this will make you sound legit. (LEGIT=legitimate and super cool.)
HMU – This means “hit me up.” Good news! To “hit somebody up” is not actually about punching. (Big sigh of relief). Rather, it means to communicate in some way (text, email, call, etc.). Do not nag your kids with this and ask them to “HMU” when you feel as if they have not been communicating with you enough. If you overuse it, you will get a text back asking who died. Instead, use it in combination with other texting lingo to string together an impressive sentence. Try this the next time they text you:
“Can’t talk RN, dude in uniform just came to door. SMH! HMU later.”
(This sounds very exciting, and there is no need to tell them it is merely the UPS man.)